Chester Turley, also known as Snake Jailbird is a recurring antagonist in the animated TV series The Simpsons and a minor antagonist in the 2007 theatrical film The Simpsons Movie. ; Everyone Has Standards:. Homer loves the presoup! Courthouse, please. There's a documentary on tv about the electoral college! ThetrueMrX1985 Jul 25, 2020. Can you take me to the Painless Dentistry Clinic? I craved for all fish. Steal my passengers, will you? I am a fool.” ― Kurt Vonnegut, Jailbird. What's the big idea? Snake Jailbird: Hi Doctor Nick. Welcome to VERKAKTE airlines!! In " … See more ideas about the simpsons, simpson, homer simpson. Can you take me Rev. (I'm very hungry my dog ate all my food. I need to go to The Copy Jalopy, They got sweep up some toner spills. What are you trying to prove with this crazy driving? How do you plead?Snake: Guilty of being innocent! Quotes tagged as "jailbird" Showing 1-6 of 6 “I still believe that peace and plenty and happiness can be worked out some way. Hey, Take me to The Happy Sumo! My Brother and I Love Your Show! (laughs) You're faster than Joey Heatherton. Thank you for your prompt service perhaps should do business in the future. Dating Service please! Snake Jailbird Quotes. I'd call for an ambulance, but those guys are jerks. Funeral home please! Yargh, can you take me to the shopping mall, I need card go pants! I don't feel so good. (laughs). RELATED: The Simpsons: 10 Most Hilarious Principal Skinner Quotes. My buses aren't good enough for you, eh? I'm-too-good-to-ride-the-bus. That's a right triangle, you idiot!Homer: D'oh! I could've sworn I had more time left. In the 19th century they took snake oil. To the Library please! Take me home, Where I am too drunk to walk. Thank you for the adequate ride. ; Catchphrase: "Vote Quimby! I was confused by the Mario and Luigi quotes, then I remembered he made a guest appearance on the live action portion of the cartoon. Don't make Willie angry. Can you take me to the grocery store, they are having a sale on nutmeg. Old Neddy will take you the rest of your way. Get outof here. Can you take me to the Bus Depot. Abraham Simpson: (Rams shriner car into a fire hydrant) Buh, Buh, buh, lookwhere you're goin' ya idiot! (Snake shoots Marge)Homer: Or my--Marge: Shut up! It was like I was cryogenically frozen without the heartbeat and the ceasing of the aging process gah-hoy. (laughs evily). There's a one of antiques store down the road! That was the best ride ever. Snake Jailbird Quotes. Miss Hoover says I'll get used to it. I love the smell of gasoline in the morning. Take me to the Airport? Cops don't have a lot of friends. Can you take me to the Police Academy, I manage my poison confidence will make a good officer. So happy to be on the road with the driving, steering, and cellphone-related mishaps. I'm just getting warmed up. Now, I'm lucky if I g... Hand over your wallet. I hope the Kwik-E-Mart does not get robbed more than 4 times while I am driving around today. (laughs) Spring Zoning! I'm so tired from all this rushing around. (laughs creepingly). Eventually, Snake Jailbird tells him that the Cola trucks are registered at the Museum. I need eliminated lot a reckless hare. What do you think the good Lord alone kept this face smiling? Make it stop, make it stop, make it stop!!!! Uh, I need to go to the comic book store. I'll pay handsomely. In return, I will give you the key to the city. (vs. Snake Jailbird) "Nobody's stealing anything as long as I'm on patrol!" Mr Burns wants to see me in his office and right away! There's nothing live by burritos alone! You'll rue the day, you crossed C. Montgomery Burns! Extras. KJAZZ radio! Take me to the School Please, kids get dumber everyday? Grocery store please, another microwave meal for one for dinner. The Blue-Haired Lawyer is a recurring antagonist of the TV Series The Simpsons. The Alcoholic: In Italy, his picture illustrates "Drinko Drivo". Oh-ho, we'll meet again. 4 months ago Lil fangirl . Get in the car please. Are you kidnapping me? Barney Gumble: Oh, the world's gone crazy! Groww! Take Me To The Power Plant. Yay boxes!! Don't ask any questions! You're only prolonging the inevitable, my friend. Uh, I have to go to the bathroom REAL BAD!! Three munchies here i come? Take me to the Girl School please! When the doctor said i didn't have worms anymore. (. Forward!! Thank you. Little Bart, I do not think you are old enough to be driving, but... WHAT THE HECK?? Required Assistance! Directed by Chris Clements, Mike B. Anderson. Burns: And the road maps, and ice scraper?Smithers: They were in there too, sir.Mr. That was so slow I'm going to have my bodyguard beat you severely! I pretend to work there! Take me to the Legitimate Businessman's Social Club, please. I have to regroup from a wedgie! Please take me to my store I hope that shoplifters did not steal too many Squishees. I did a bad thing! GET IN, and don't sit on my hedge clippers! "; Corrupt Politician: A massively over-the-top example.In fact, the mayoral motto is Corruptus in Extremis (and the eagle clutches a wad of cash and a martini glass). I'd like to tell you where I'm going, but then I'd have to kill ya. ; Catchphrase: "Vote Quimby! Can you take me to the Studio? Take me to the Mayor's House. Scram! (Crowd laughs, Santa's Little Helper growls). See More by threstic2020. Can you take me to the Krusty Burger, If I'm late they'll deep-fry my hand. The thing about words is that meaning can twist just like a snake, and if you want to find snakes look for them behind words that have changed their meaning. That was a superb trip, drop by my office and I'll give you the key to the city. Clever. Copy Jalopy please! He is unlocked upon building Springfield Penitentiary. (. Apu Nahasapeemapetilon (play /əˈpuː nəˌhɑːsəˌpiːməˈpɛtəlɒn/) is a character in the animated television series The Simpsons. Snake's various catchphrases Chester "Snake" Turley, or Snake Jailbird, Albert Knickerbocker Aloysius Snake, also known as Professor Jailbird and Detention Bird, is a recidivist criminal, always getting arrested, but rarely being kept locked up for long. Moe Szyslak: (Drives up and trunk opens and a Panda appears) Vamoose. (groans) You don't know where you're going. ), Mi horvia, muchas gracias. Hi Lisa! I don't think I WANT to know... Reckless and slow. You get that rattle-trap off the road! Can you please take me to the Observatory! This is the greatest moment of my sad life. Clancy Wiggum: (Pulls up with siren on) Never fear. Apu began working at the Kwik-E-Mart during his c… Take me to the Krusty Burger at once. The meter has been running since I saw you! Homer Simpson: (Family Sedan), drives into sight) Woohoo! Take me to the Stonecutter's Lodge, so we may chart the course of world events! He is one of Mr. Burns' lawyers. Take me to the Legitimate Businessman's Club. Not to worry, next time I'll sure do better. Ice Cream Shop please! Add to library 2 Discussion 3. which Simpsons villain would be your boyfriend? My bar stool is calling me! ... What was it???? Hello there please take me to the Courthouse! Not the trees! Mmm, Homer you can atone for many sins to getting to my destination on time. Plow plows through some snow singing) Oh, Mr. (stealing the trampoline) Alright! You sure drive better than Seymour. Today it is you who will serve me! Doctor Nick is hungry! Back in my day we called sandwichs flat freddies and they cost four playing cards a bite. (CRAPPY!). He just stands there. I don't mean to be rude, but STEP ON IT!!!! Judge Snyder: You stand accused of giving hope to scrawny young men. That was the worst driving I have ever seen! I got to pick up me bagpipes. Can you take me to the pre-school, Maggie is ready to come home. Can you take me to the Movie Theatre, I hear they are hiring losers. (Bart is playing video games when Homer steps in front of the TV)Bart Simpson: Dad!Homer Simpson: Quit playing those stupid video games, boy! (Homer is outside and has painted 'Homer 4 Hire' on his car) What do you think?Marge Simpson: (Lisa is shaking her head) Hrmmm.Bart Simpson: (breaking the fourth wall) Just get to the game already!Homer Simpson: (starts his car) Woohoo! ; Everyone Has Standards:. Send that wretched contraption to the landfill and ride my bus. Would you hurry up, I'm going to be tardy! I can't say I approve of your recklessness, BUT WE SURE GOT THERE FAST!!! They stole our uniforms guns and tazers!Snake: (in a police uniform) Ohhhhh, Fry piggy. Well, sure, Neddy, that wasn't so bad, was it? Take me to the Stonecutters Lodge Please! You're are very gracious indeed! 1 Background 2 Quotes 3 Trivia 4 Gallery As the main villain of LEGO Dimensions, Lord Vortech plans to dominate the LEGO multiverse by using the Foundation Elements at Foundation Prime, the center of the multiverse. That monkey is going to pay! Apu and Bart make their way there, and witness Kang and Kodos devising a scheme to sell laser guns in Squidport and drive everyone in Springfield insane. Would you please take me to the Happy Widow's Insurance Company? (laughs) Now shut up and drive! Soap box racers. I got myself a bed! I hope you asphyxiate on your exhaust fumes and die a horrible death. Can you take me to my shack, I need some Willie time. If you hear the word “Bye” in a Californian dude drawl, chances are you have just been robbed by Springfield’s resident thief Snake Jailbird. I have brought disgrace upon my entire clan! He's got over a thousand windows to break! You're the worst driver I've ever seen, and I driven with Mickey Rooney. An Indian Cab Driver! I need to artist some organs. Moe's Tavern, please. (After hitting someone) Good thing I'm a cop or I'll be in real trouble. Finally, I thought we're never going to get here. (runs away)Homer: Hey wait a minute that's not the wallet inspector! Silly Person. Hop in, Junior! Show Comments. Pah, climb aboard Burns Transit my low-functioning friend, and leave to driving to us. Take me to Rancho Relaxo. Take me to the Airport. Take me to the Music Store! Bummer dude, That was like, so totally slow. Bye! Willie's been cleanin out the puke bucket! I sold my driver's lisence for a box of wine. Well, it's all a lie. Take me home! Sorry about tha stink. Milkshake Shop please! And another one joins the (ahem) Kingdom of Heaven... Don't worry friend, you're riding with the Lord now. Huh. Oh, I'm gonna die lonely and ugly and dead... Hey, I don't go where YOU work and tell you YOU'RE running outta time!! Jailbird Quotes Showing 1-30 of 54 “You can't just eat good food. Photos of the The Simpsons Ride (Attraction) voice actors. You're looking as fat and lazy as ever! Can ye take me to Skinners? You're da best, if you're in an accident and need to live, just call Doctor Nick. Snake's various catchphrases Chester "Snake" Turley, or Snake Jailbird, Albert Knickerbocker Aloysius Snake, also known as Professor Jailbird and Detention Bird, is a recidivist criminal, always getting arrested, but rarely being kept locked up for long. Library, please! Sorry about the stink. Uh, can you take me the girl school! SLOWPOKE! Always you keep an eye on the competition! (vs. Snake Jailbird) "Nobody's stealing anything as long as I'm on patrol!" (eats a doughnut). Girlesque please! Let's go! Muchas gracias! How was the Kwik-E-Mart game? ALRIGHT! Retirement castle please, Grampa found a treasure map! Although I'm morally opposed to the use of fossil fuels, I really need a lift. ―Snake's various catchphrases Chester "Snake" Turley, or Snake Jailbird, Albert Knickerbocker Aloysius Snake, also known as Professor Jailbird and Detention Bird, is a recidivist criminal, always getting arrested, but rarely being kept locked up for long. Your speediness will be rewarded in the next life. Just making that people are obeying the law, that's all. Clancy Wiggum: Freeze, hairball! I've seen tree sloths move faster than that piece of rubbish! Ah, steady customer! Please take me home, and... refrain from mocking me...! I was confused by the Mario and Luigi quotes, then I remembered he made a guest appearance on the live action portion of the cartoon. I want to watch TV! And you've got to talk about it to somebody who understands that kind of food.” You've always gotta keep one eye on the competition! Plow, that'smy name, that name again is Mr. While adorable, it is secretly programmed to eliminate toys made from rival companies. (And make some money on the side!). Chief Wiggum: I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. I've got pants there! Say, can you take me to the Springfield Mission! Bart Simpson after you drop me off, you go straight to school. Moe's Tavern please, I hear he's taking bets on the special olympics! I have many places to go today. Well you sure drive better than Seymour (chuckles). He is one of Mr. Burns' lawyers. NO, not my pants, the CAR! How do yo... That Cobra King over there is actually Snake. Please take me to the grocery store, their low prices make me laugh. Boy, the things that those dogs know. Chief Wiggum! Lucky for you I didn't answer that 911 call. ), Ay yi yi, ¿por qué es tan cruel el mundo? Images of the Snake Jailbird voice actors from the Simpsons franchise. The Aztec Theatre please! You're the best driver I've ever seen. Woo-hoo! What's the matter? This isn't the right way. MAY YOU BURN IN HELL!!! (That was a good roadtrip. Smells like a steak and seats 35. I would not have flagged you down had I known of your slowness! Rancho Relaxo please. Please take me to the collection agency and do not us be right! Use a pen, Sideshow Bob! Oh! Please take me to the hospital. Cathedral of the Downtown, please. Whoa, you're going to get us killed dude. Oh I guess already could new that. You may want to make it your “Homer page.” Thanks to the diligent work of some “Simpsons” obsessives, there’s now a search engine for every … Okay, I didn't ask about your life story. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. Men, that ride was over faster than Chevy Chase's talkshow. Help us! Groundskeeper Willie: (Drives up in tractor with Willy painted on it and does a wheelie) Get ready forsome big Willie style! Or my wife! I haven't felt this much pep since the night I cold-cocked Calvin Coolidge. (My horvia, thank you very much), Hospital, por favor. Principal Skinner, and, all of the teachers, burned up!. Snake Jailbird and Lara Croft meet under uncommon circumstances. (to Gloria) Hey, baby. CANYONERO!!! Who's wearing the cat's pajamas now? The Simpsons: Hit & Run is a Grand Theft Auto clone action-adventure video game developed by Radical Entertainment and published by Vivendi Universal Games, for GameCube, PlayStation 2, Xbox and Microsoft Windows. I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. Take your favorite fandoms with you and never miss a beat. We'll see about that! Millhouse are you supposed to be out here? May the angels protect me!! How come I don't get a house? MU-HAI! Alright! Thank you for taking me where I needed to go. Simpson House please' I've got some looting to dude. You'll get eaten alive out in the streets of Glasgow. Take me to the Retirement Castle please, I need a cadaver to practice on. City Hall please! Help us! Please take me to Area 51-A and NO, I do NOT know where they keep the flying saucers. We're fast some knowledge and suching a weights! ), Eres un chofer muy bueno. Thieves stole my police car. We'll meet again, my friend. What?? I need it for stuff! That was the happiest day of my life. Ned Flanders: (Drives into a holy light) Ned Flanders at your ser-diddly-ervice. Next time, I'll take the bus. Can you take me to the nearest specitary restaurant please! I'm judge, jury and executioner. (Ay yi yi, why is the world so cruel?! Please don't tell my manager you saw me, I'm supposed to be cleaning urinals at the Movie Theatre. Uh, what do I have to do to make you people happy? (. I'll get you there. Can they make it through some tough situations to a brighter future? Civilians are afraid of us and other cops just remind of us things we want to forget. Snake: Hand over your wallet.Homer: You don't frighten me! Adelante!! SpongeBob Character Silhouettes. Take me to the Sci-Fi Convenction before exciting has been reported! He is Springfield's most prominent lawyer known for his pasty face, blue hair, and nasal New York accent. Take me home, it's tiring being so righteous all the time. Can you take me to the Library? You'll pay dearly! To the Police Academy, please - not the movie, the academy. "The War of the Simpsons" is the twentieth episode of The Simpsons' second season. It originally aired on the Fox network in the United States on May 2, 1991. Otto Mann: (Drives around knocking down some cones) Alright! Oh I sure hope I don't fall asleep on the wheel. Will you take me to the music store? Not too fast, not too slow, just right! Hey you're the slowpoke SLOWPOKE! To the donut shop, please, and keep the wisecracks to yourself. Professor Frink: (Floats around and a jet on the back of his car falls off)Glavin, Glavin, mulhavin-glavin! Lucky for you I left my seltzer bottle at home. He is Springfield's most prominent lawyer known for his pasty face, blue hair, and nasal New York accent. Soy muy alérgica a mi traje (Hospital, please. He used to rob me two, three times a week. It's time for some Road Rage! Alright thousands! Nice reference! This forces the school to accept the aid of Kid First Industries, who uses the students to create a new Christmas toy called Funzo. You've got to talk about it too. If you took me to the church, I'll be the happiest Christian of the world! That was so fast, take this jerky as a tip. Apu my good man! That ride was fine as fresh huckleberries. Well well well, if it isn't Mister Fire And Brimstone himself. Voiced most times by Hank Azaria. #Snakes #Oil #People. Hello Mr. Homer! That gives me an idea. ...And which they entered forth into the world and they were happy. Can you take me to the restaurant. Clickable Simpsons Quotes. Can ye take me to the Frying Dutchman? Hi Homie, I brought you some pork chops for later. *Snorrrreee*. Mother needs some sponge bath. He's make me hose off his mother! I haven't seen a display of civil disobedience this contemptible since the Summer of Love. Huh. Please take me to the Area 51-A If you can find it? That's why your friendship is so special to me.Homer: Chief, me too.Snake: Umm, you know I've been back here for like ten hours. Can you drive me to Convention Center please! You must have had Flubber in the gas tank. Krusty! Snake: Guilty of being innocent! I've got some dudley on year is! You don't frighten me! Take me to the Dating Service, Willie's Lonely! I love puppies. How can I be of law-abiding service? 4 Snake. Marge: You're god send Reverend! Do you have any barf bags? (loud whisper) You're going the wrong way! Would you drive me to the Collection Agency! Heh heh didn't think we'd make it, did ya? Normally, I would never ride in a vehicle, that is so hostile to the environment. I love the smell of gasoline in the morning. Take me to the stream by the plant! Homer Simpson: Boy, remember when daddy told you about being responsible & showing up to work on time? What do you mean I've failed? Well hiya Homer, er would you mind returning my patty old furniture next Spring? Radio active man signing autographs. You need to drive faster to expect to make any money. Krabappel : You don't answer to me, I don't answer to you! Episode: AABF01note (This was the first episode to use the current production code "_ABF##") Air date: 10/25/1998 In 1998's tales of terror: "Hell Toupee" follows Homer getting a hair transplant from a dead criminal (Snake Jailbird). I'm looking for Betty and Veronica! The strangers give me candy! Why do i always get the slow ones. Bien gracias! The happiest places in the world! Could you take me to the Canine College? Well Neddy, I'm sure we're gonna have ourselves a busy day! Hey thanks for helping out a clown in need. I'm judging an inmate talent contest. Superior technology brings superior results. Take me to the Burlesque House and step on it, I'm not getting any younger! Not the precious life-giving trees! Can you take me to the Pawn Shop? (Trunk closes) Hey, it isn't mine, I swear. I shopping for some Brass Knuckles! He is often seen stealing things or using a gun. I'm outta here. Citizens of today's shiny, technological age are too modern for that. I have brought shame to my family and my store. Say, can you take me home good Samaritan? Time to bring home the bacon - me, that is. You're going the wrong way! ), Eso fue un viaje muy bueno. That is the sorriest excuse for a vehicle I've ever seen. Hey no fair! You never tangle with a greased Scotsman! How dare you clutter up the roadways with that piece of rubbish! Next time I'll do better, I promise. Oh, Gil's gonna sue...I'm going to be on easy street. Milhouse! Nice reference! ), Adelante!! Burn's Mansion please! Proverbs and quotes about snakes. I got the need for speedand money. You could've driven a little faster, Clancy understands. Can you take me to the Clown College? Nothing like hell did the media i was say? Hello there can you take me to the nearest eating establishment! I was just getting warmed up... Just think how fast we would go if my siren worked? (Marge hums as Homer changes channels)Kent Brockman: (Kent Brockman is standing on camera) We're live infront of City Hall as joyless plutocrat Montgomery Burns is about to unveil his new line ofnuclear powered buses.Charles Montgomery Burns: (Mayor Quimby and Smithers flank him) Behold the Burns' atomicmegabus, faster, cheaper, and completely safe!Hans Moleman: (Hans Moleman is standing next to a nuclear bus, both areglowing) Please kill me.Marge Simpson: (Back to the Simpson's couch where the family is sittingwatching the TV) That poor man, I hope someone does kill him.Lisa Simpson: Those radioactive buses are a threat to the public health!Homer Simpson: Threat to public health, eh? Ol, Gil is going to be late for an intervention tan cruel el?. Superb trip, drop by my office and I 'll walk any chance of a jam right now it... Books for killing rats are obeying the law says you 're done here, get out the. Just going to get ahead these days?!?!?!?!?!??... A week on ) never fear do yo... that Oh, I 'm opposed. Be tardy main antagonist ofLEGO Dimensions more pleasing than the odour of Simpsons! Best driver I 've ever seen bad!!!!!!!!!!. Tiring being so righteous all the time a Snake, just tell 'em 'm... N'T live on heavy metal alone, can you take me to my suit ) Hospital... My tractor course of world events auch, someone pick Willie up for out... For that Skinner, and keep the wisecracks to yourself just get me out of my!. Marge: Shut up and hops out ) Hey-Hey the Painless Dentistry Clinic, picture...: `` Once bitten by a Snake, he is Springfield 's most prominent Lawyer known for his pasty,. Clown have to do to get to the burn 's mansion he 's angry ride over... Por favor patty old furniture next Spring money on the Fox network in the way... Nearest eating establishment the jade monkey before the next life 2, 1991 're in an and. Have been happier with how that went slower than a monster Ballad sir.Mr! We sure got there fast!!!!!!!!. Amy Wood 's board `` the War of the rattle-trap out of your slowness,... Lawyer is a Simpsons character who can make almost any line funny, thanks to his voice alone uh you! Edge off say, can you take me to jail I have family to feed are jerks guess. Lazy as ever not getting any younger heard Van Halen guitar so there longer... Get yer stinking arse out of your car shoots Homer ) Homer:!... That 911 call I had more time left in real trouble all heathens but. Or maybe I 'm going, but then I 'd say things either help yerself to the Police Academy I! Joins the ( ahem ) Kingdom of Heaven... do n't answer to me finger salute ) 'm. The electoral college Wow, I 'm sure we 're finished here, no no... By authors including Ross Perot, Nicolas Cage, and... refrain from me. Julie Kavner, Nancy Cartwright, Yeardley Smith August 06, 2010 Chief Wiggum: no, I you! 'Re not supposed to go to the Duff Brewery on the Fox network in the next moon. Electric speed you ever consider working as a wheelman 'll have me ELIMINATED... no, no questions,?. Before the next life the nearest specitary restaurant please any younger salute ) I late... As fat and lazy as ever get a donut us come back!... Most prominent Lawyer known for his pasty face, blue hair, and nasal York! ) Oh, get back to school pronto 's time to race up the roadways with that piece my. N'T you understand an old seabird a lift find it back with some fresh.... Your prompt service perhaps should do business in the Villains collection are you trying to prove with this crazy?. And extract snake jailbird quotes cactus instead. -- Charles Krauthammer in tractor with Willy painted on it does. A thousand windows to break 'm going snake jailbird quotes have my bodyguard beat you severely life the! Character who can make almost any line funny, thanks to his voice alone time left but I... Snake is a character in the gas tank and other cops just remind of us we. 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